swallow or spit – catch 22

I just do not know whether to swallow or spit out the sickening thoughts. i may not be congruent or cohesive, but then, it is election time in India!

Today there is a ‘bandh’ in tamilnadu, decided by the chief minister of the state. Since buses are not plying in their usual numbers, my staffs have not turned up for work. My maid did not cook since she could not get vegetables. Hotels have downed their shutters. I do not have food. I have to look out for supplemental calories that would keep me physiologically going in this state. Some acid is trying to surge from my belly into the passage in my chest. I cannot go to a hotel and eat, but the TASMAC shops are there. I can get a beer and fulfill my calorie needs! The shops incidentally are run by the government which is not running the buses! I feel like spitting it out.

If I do spit, on what and where does it land? In my house? On my body? Will it help?and, what if i swallow ( as i type, i miss the s and it says if i wallow, well, if you say yes you may not, but then you may!) Well, it is election time in the country, so as a citizen I have to eat the humble pie dished out to me.

Here is a political drama, enacted in earnest. The script unfortunately is outdated. The author just grows older and refuses to learn new tricks to engage the audience. One more strike! One more after what has been a chain of cheap cheatings! I know some sincere people who had braved the slashing of rains to stand as a human chain when he said that the act would help prevent genocide. He writes, he talks, and he sends telegrams- atleast that is what he tells us. He scorns, scoffs and sarcastically ridicules his erstwhile ally, for having the son in the ministry which did not help the tamils! He had his own men in the ministry! His daughter was there in the parliament! Families run the government, and I hope that no foreigner thinks that a mafia is running governments in India! No one is going to do anything, because no one needs to do anything.

Tamil movies have moved on, leaving the great script-writer of the 1950s behind. They talk more naturally, they talk less, and they are not ashamed of making a fool of themselves. The script-writer however has not moved beyond his heydays. His blind belief that rhetoric is enough to assuage the real wounds continues. He resorts to old tricks that would not even attract imbeciles. He sheds unseen tears for his brethren! And, he teaks my eye to shed a similar tear!

I have always empathized and sympathized with srilankan tamils. I have seen and shared their pain decades ago. If someone is shouting for their welfare I can understand. If someone wants to do something for them I would be eager to put in my contribution, but how can I take part in a strike that does not mean or is meant to mean anything for them?

The shameless selfishness of the “great” tamil leader has transcended all imaginations. He is now asking for my vote. What do I do? Spit?

If I do not vote for him who is my choice? J? Do I then spit or swallow?

There are some who say an intelligent young man, who had worked his way up, who is willing to ‘manage’ affairs as he is definitely qualified for the task, who is not (yet) tainted in his public record, is there and I should vote for him. I know the scenario. Just like him, I have gone through poverty and overcame it with hard work, I have seen discrimination which I overcame with determination, and finally am now comfortably blogging in one of my laptops! Why didn’t I jump into the election game then and even now? I know that this system is rotten. I also know that I do not know how to fix it. In addition, I know that if ever I get into this gutter, I would start indulging in shit rather than cleaning up the mess. I certainly accept the criticism that I am an arm-chair critic. I would rather be honest in my arm chair than be a scoundrel on the streets.

This young man is not going to make a change; rather I am afraid he may change. He cannot win but  if he wins, I do not lose. Some years ago, a bunch of intelligent (that’s what an IIT degree means) came together to form a party and contest elections. They not only lost the election but also the integrity that they proclaimed. Orkut was full of those squabbles. After IIT now it is IIM, fine, having seen Harvard clowning I have no faith in educational institutions shaping the ethical intelligence of their students.

I have no belief (I wish though that I would be made to eat my words) in sharat. I hate Mk. I have equal emotional antagonism towards J. the electioneering commies are no where near Marx. If I do not go to the booth, someone else will vote on my behalf. If I were to fool myself that 49(O) is a remedy, I may have to take medicines to cure that delusion. So what do I do with the sickening scum? Swallow or spit? It is a no-win catch-22!

having gone down on my knees to suck the system, it does not matter if i spit or swallow, neither to me nor to the benefactors!

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18 Comments on “swallow or spit – catch 22”

  1. Madhavan Says:

    Dr Rudhran,

    I am sure you echoed a lot of people’s mind.However I beg to differ on on thing in your statement.

    “”If I do not go to the booth, someone else will vote on my behalf”.

    If everyone thinks like this,where is chance for a change. I am not pro or against anybody here. With the available history of Sharat and as you have mentioned ,who(he) is (not) yet corrupt why don’t people like you to go and vote for him atleaset. Assuming if votes polled would be around 60-70%,there would be a gap of 30%. Even if people like you go for voting and if Sharat gets 10-15% vote that will be a begining for a change. Unfortunately I am sitting few thousands miles away to cast my vote.

  2. rudhran Says:

    10 to 15% may matter to some, but not to the democratic set up we have. i have unfortunately witnessed these 10-15% vote getters move on to more bluer ( i am using blue as a derivative of porn) pastures.
    ok i will vote for sharat. ok assuming he wins, what is going to happen?
    the ditch regularly dug just beyond my house, ( incidentally it is adjacent to the house of ARR) would still be dug, our toilets would still be clogged.
    i do not believe in these democratic dramas because they are all cliched.
    i am perhaps a lazy grouching hag, but i am in touch with reality.

  3. Amrutha Says:

    //I know that this system is rotten. I also know that I do not know how to fix it.//……..no words to express

  4. Numb Says:

    Dear Sir, i very much agree with your analysis, this is a catch 22 situation… but i have to tell you (not out of disrespect) your article on Spit/Swallow/Suck is making me vomit. Perhaps that’s what articles that talks on social issues are meant to do. cheers… keep writing Sir!

  5. surya Says:

    நான் நீ என்று சொன்னால் உதடுகள் ஒட்டாது.

    பார்லிமெண்டு , Vote Bank, Minister, Telecom என்று சொன்னால் அழகாக ஒட்டும்.

  6. Kandhas Says:

    You have expressed so well the helplessness with which all of us have come to live with. Yet to those who use their grey cells atleast by a percent, it does bother. And your outburst is natural !! By reading it, I feel utterly disgusted and helpless about the so called leaders. Imagine the plight of our future generations, who see these ‘role models’ as natural leadership. We had a Gandhi, Kamarajar and the likes as standards. The generations that are to come has these ridiculous creatures………. Hang on. We are being too serious in this blog, Dr. Let’s have a voting to make a wild guess on when Azhagiri’s son would make his contribution to the society by entering politics (after he is done with his pub frequents) ……..3 years, 5 years or 10 years ?! God save the country

  7. Dan Dennett Says:

    Dear Doc,

    Your writing style, language,construction and flow is not at all upto the mark. In fact I am surprised to see such badly written prose from an eminent person such as you. Somethings wrong Doc.I am begining to doubt what you are. Afterall many times you can make out people from what and how they write!

    You know better Doc, after all you are one of the top ones in this mind business!!

  8. sowmiya Says:

    Solladi sivashakthi!
    Enai sudar migu
    arivudan en padaithai????

    Dont worry…
    The system will change
    soon atleast after 20 years..
    i hope , as am in the age
    of hopes and dreams…
    But dont stop to spit and
    shout…
    Decades after Martin Luther
    king’s words came true…
    Ours too one day…
    Until then we have to
    practice , “how to and at
    what for we have to spit?”

    Or atleast we shall start a
    party , which will analyse and
    give the acts, to which one can
    spit…

    for example,Assume that your article
    is the party and the commentators
    are the spitters (me too:-):-))

  9. சங்கீதா இனியன் Says:

    இது மெல்லவும் முடியாத முழுங்கவும் முடியாததை பற்றி………………சரிதானே?.மிதிபட மிதிபட புழுவும் ஒரு நாள் புலியாகும் என்று யாரோ சொன்னது ஞாபகம் வருகிறது.அந்த நம்பிக்கை வேண்டும் இல்லையா?
    இந்த பூமியை புரட்டக்கூடிய நெம்புக்கோல் வார்த்தைகளும் உங்களிடம் உண்டு இப்போது இல்லாவிடினும்………உங்கள் ஆதங்கம் புரிகிறது.எனினும் இளைஞர்களுக்கு நல்லதை சொல்ல வாழ்ந்து காட்ட என ஒரு role model இல்லை இருந்தாலும் வெளிச்சத்தில் இல்லை.நல்லவனும் வல்லவனுமாய் எந்த சாக்கடையும் சரி செய்யும் சகிப்புத்தன்மையுடன் உத்வேகத்துடனும் ஒருவரும் இல்லை? நான் பிரதமராய் இருந்தால் இந்தியாவின் வல்லரசு பட்டத்தை நிரூபிக்க இது ஒரு நல்ல சமயம் என இலங்கை அரசை அடக்கியிருப்பேன்.நீங்கள் என்ன செய்திருப்பீர்கள் எனச் சொல்லுங்கள்.(முதலமைச்சராகவும் அவதானித்து சொல்லுங்கள்)

  10. Jayashree Says:

    Hello Dr. Rudhran,

    How are you. I am a fan of ur’s. I need a personel help from you. I am a married women having 2 kids. Myne is a love marriage. My husband is not lovable to me. I think for all these years i have not admired my husband so he love other girls except me but still we are living together just like friens. Before my marriage itself i lost my peace in life due to some problems in my own family (i am not able to tell u what problem i faced) so i decided to marry a guy who really loves me and take care of me. Earlier he was but now he lost his interest on me. I just saw only sorrows in my entire life i myself begged for a loving and really careing person for me. I met a guy in my office he is younger than me he loves me madly and sincerely but we are not ready to have a legal life as we decided to sacrifice our love for our both of our families. I feel like i am left alone in this world. i am not able to concentrate on anything else. i dont have guts to miss him and even he also dont have guts to leave me either i dont know what to do. i am very restless. First a fall i was planning to meet u in person to get ur advice and counselling but i dont have guts to meet u in person and talking about my problem to u. I need your help now. Kindly advice me and give me a good counselling because i am in the depression peak. Waiting for your reply every moment.

    jaisri

  11. Jayashree Says:

    Hello Dr. Rudhran,

    How are you. I am a fan of ur’s. I need a personel help from you. I am a married women having 2 kids. Myne is a love marriage. My husband is not lovable to me. I think for all these years i have not admired my husband so he love other girls except me but still we are living together just like friens. Before my marriage itself i lost my peace in life due to some problems in my own family (i am not able to tell u what problem i faced) so i decided to marry a guy who really loves me and take care of me. Earlier he was but now he lost his interest on me. I just saw only sorrows in my entire life i myself begged for a loving and really careing person for me. I met a guy in my office he is younger than me he loves me madly and sincerely but we are not ready to have a legal life as we decided to sacrifice our love for our both of our families. I feel like i am left alone in this world. i am not able to concentrate on anything else. i dont have guts to miss him and even he also dont have guts to leave me either i dont know what to do. i am very restless. First a fall i was planning to meet u in person to get ur advice and counselling but i dont have guts to meet u in person and talking about my problem to u. I need your help now. Kindly advice me and give me a good counselling because i am in the depression peak. Waiting for your reply every moment.

    jaisri

  12. Jayashree Says:

    wating for your help

  13. vazhi_meedhu_vizhi Says:

    Sir, Why no article after this one? have been waiting for something new, just like waiting for the next edition of anandha vikatan for the thodar kadhai. can’t wait to read your next article. most of the times, it (somehow, pl don’t ask me how) enriches my thought process (or i assume so). if not atleast i learn a few english words. Hope there are new topics that caught your attention lately…kaathirukiren nanri udan

  14. vazhi_meedhu_vizhi Says:

    i know i should not comment on a comment on your article but with your permission i wanted to appreciate the comment posted by sangeetha inian.. though it was a question she had asked (that was not answered, i know your busy schedule, that’s understandable.) but it was very nicely written and was great to read in tamil, thanks

  15. sangeetha enian Says:

    ;
    “நான் பிரதமராய் இருந்தால் இந்தியாவின் வல்லரசு பட்டத்தை நிரூபிக்க இது ஒரு நல்ல சமயம் என இலங்கை அரசை அடக்கியிருப்பேன்.நீங்கள் என்ன செய்திருப்பீர்கள் எனச் சொல்லுங்கள்.(முதலமைச்சராகவும் அவதானித்து சொல்லுங்கள்)”
    என் கேள்வியின் அபத்தம் அதனை அசை போடுகையில் புரிகிறது. நான் நானாக மட்டுமே யோசிப்பதும் செயல்படுவதுமே சாத்தியம்.
    என் அதிகப்பிரசங்கத்துக்கு மன்னிக்கவும்.

  16. Seedan Says:

    Sir, Nice write up, You have come very close in getting me feel your frustrations/helplessness… just an after thought, why not also use some sketches / paintings that wd compliment your writings. i know you are good in that too. just a suggestion, i know sketches/ painting itself is a complete way to communicate an idea, but still…

    wdnt that b good, a picture for each article😉

  17. Srivathsan Says:

    Naan nee enru sonnalo, naadu enru sonnalo udhadu ottathu, aanal kudumbam, panam, mogam enral udhadu ottum

  18. :) Says:

    read your article a bit late,

    nice one sir🙂


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